He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Someone came in the potted fern
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
