he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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