how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
