Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
