Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
as a side note pls kill me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
