if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
