Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
