When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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