Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
