We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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