I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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