He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
