I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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