fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
