This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
