Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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