I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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