Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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