So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
