it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
