I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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