I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
