my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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