and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
