is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want nice things and good sex
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
