Plan B is the new Plan A
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
