I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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