Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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