She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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