I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
