At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
