i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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