Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
