I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
