i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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