i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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