I want to make a zoo with you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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