He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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