Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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