Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
