spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So vagazzling was a success
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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