How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
