is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
