oh god the rape fog is back!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
