Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
