I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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