Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
