i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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