I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
