no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
