this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
